Saturday, February 4, 2012

It Happened On a Friday

There are a lot of things I'll say about Foster Care, but one thing I'll never say is that it's boring. Foster Parents have no need to go bungee jumping, sky diving, or spelunking because we get all the adrenaline we need just sitting around on a Friday.

Let's start on Thursday to set the scene: Baby 4 and I were in the hospital after his last surgery (YAY!!) to take his trach out. The procedure went splendidly and he is feeling fantastic, but they had him spend the night for observation. Baby 4 went to sleep at 7:30 and I started loading Turbo Tax onto my laptop because we need to get our taxes done ASAP (There is so much to our tax story that it will be it's own post this week- keep an eye out for it). Long Story short, my computer is super slow and I fell asleep at 10:30 still waiting for it to load.

Look MA! No Trach!!

My Friday started at 1:00am. We get a room mate who is apparently very unhappy with her admission into the hospital. She cries all night and screams when anyone in scrubs walks into the room- even if they are there for Baby 4. I am so thankful that 4 slept through the whole thing. I was less fortunate, and was wide awake until 3:30. I did get our taxes done, though.

When I fell asleep at 3:30, it was a very short 3 hours until Baby 4 said, "Can I watch a movie?" at 6:30m.

We got dressed, ate breakfast, and watched How To Train Your Dragon. At 8:30, the Dr. came in and said He was going to write up our discharge papers and we should be home by 9am.

At 10:06 am we still hadn't seen those discharge papers, and were watching Elmo in Grouchland when I got my Hallelujah!! I answered the Matchers call and she first asked about 4. When I told her that we were still in the hospital, she hesitated bout the placement of Baby 6. I avoided the reflex to beg by calmly assuring her that we would be home soon, and that Baby 4 is feeling fine. She told me Baby 6 was taken into care yesterday and placed with a newly certified foster home. After a very rough and sleepless night, the family asked for him to be removed immediately. He's 22 months old and we know very little about him.

The matcher knows I have a judgemental streak, and she defended the first foster family as much possible saying that the foster parents work and have to be up in the morning, etc, etc. Here's my opinion, not that it counts for anything- Don't take a child into your home if you're not willing to stick by him as he transitions. We're talking about a 1yr old who climbs out of the crib at night an bangs his head on the ground when you tell him "No", not a kid who killed your cat or ran away. How do you say no to a baby that's already in your house?! I'm mad because this has happened to 2 of my babies- Baby 1 and Baby 6 had their first placement disrupted before coming to us and it makes me furious. Do you not know what you're signing up for? It's a kid- who was taken from their Mother and put in your house. They are not going to walk in, kiss you, and call you Mommy- but that's not a good reason to keep your receipt and return them within 30 days. Back to my day...

So I said yes to Baby 6 at 10:10am. We were released from the hospital at 10:45. Baby 6's caseworker brought him to our house at 12 noon. He is definitely a handful. He's as active as any 1yr old boy I've seen. He has a serious case of cuteness.  He loves Baby 4 and the dogs. Harley- our bigger dog- licked 6's face and 6 licked him right back.

At 1:00 we went to Walmart for our new kid shopping spree. Baby 6 came with 3 diapers, a snow suit that he will not be wearing here due to my pride, 3 pairs of pants, 2 shirts, and a footed sleeper.

By 3:00pm, we had accumulated a bunch of Gerber finger foods, 3 sippy cups, boots, sneakers, 5 pairs of pants, 4 shirts, a 10 pack of socks, 2 sets of PJ's, a winter coat, 2 pacifiers (my guess at why he didn't sleep for the other foster family), lotion and bath wash, a diaper bag for his visits, a case of diapers, travel size GermX for his visit bag, and 2 heart picture frames for his parents. $162.72 at Walmart on a Friday. You know those credit card ads? The face on the cashier when baby 4 told her we were buying clothes for his new brother because we take kids who have no house- priceless.

7:30pm Baby 6 went to sleep in a crib with zero tantruming. He slept straight through to 7 this morning- thank you binkie!!

After getting 4 & 6 to bed, I checked my email. I got a response from the adoption agency we've been working with since last Friday on the adoption of a newborn girl in California. This has been a crazy set of circumstances, but basically we are teleconferencing with BioMom's lawyer and Baby's Drs on Tuesday. If this adoption goes through, it would happen very quickly and it would have God's signature all over it. How many people have a baby emailed to them on a Friday?

Here are some details about the private adoption: Our friends from church adopted through this agency and recieved an email last week asking if they knew of any families who were interested in adopting a special needs newborn immediately. On Monday I spoke to the agency and found out we may not be eligible for her because sometimes Foster agencies and adoption agencies don't play nicely with each other and won't share homestudies or allow foster parents to keep their kids while they pursue private adoption. Monday Morning we spoke to our foster care homefinder who was very supportive and sent over all our info and homestudy to them. Then Wednesday we got news that the Baby might be placed in Foster care in her own county instead of being adopted. Then yesterday we found out she will be placed for adoption and we are being considered for her. We will speak to our agency on Monday and Baby's medical team on Tuesday. We'll know then how this proceeds. She was born prematurely in January and still has not reached her due date. She's already had one heart surgery and will need 2 more after we bring her home. We were in no way pursuing private adoption, but we are so glad it dropped in our laps. This adoption could still fail, although things look really good for us right now.

9:00pm- Brandon got home from work, peeked in on our new son, and we toasted to our very exciting future. You know, just another day...


  1. Holy cow, what a weekend! Andy and I are shaking our heads about the first placement. What do these people think they're getting into? I can't wait to hear more about the adoption - and I mean this sincerely: feel free to email me through my blog if you need anything.

  2. Woosh! What a week you've had girl!

    I'm so happy baby 4 was able to have his trach removed, so nice for all of you!

    Seems like #6 is settling right in, good for you!

    I must know what you made the adorable keepsake hand and foot prints in for #5? I have been trying to get a decent hand print done for Primo's parents, but can't seem to find the right clay.

  3. Wow!!! What a weekend :)I'm so happy that everything went well with Baby 4. Wishing all the best for baby 6 and hopefully baby 7:)

  4. Wow!!! You are blessed! Sounds like a great day!

  5. What a weekend! So glad that everything went well with baby 4s surgery. I hope that eases some of your burden in caring for him. I can't believe that you got baby 6 so quickly, and now a potential adoption too?!?!? You are going to have a full house!

  6. In terms of the other foster home, I say give them a break. Maybe they have never had kids before and really didn't know what they were getting themselves into. Hopefully this opened their eyes and they will be ready next time. A lot of people say they want to do something to help kids, but never actually do anything. At least these people took the classes, got licensed, and took a child into their home. Most people don't even do that.

    1. Jennifer- you are very right. I don't know them and they are probably good people with big hearts. AND- their decision gave me a baby, so I really have no room to whine, eh?

  7. Yay for getting 4's trach removed! And congratulations on your new addition and possibly another! I'm sincerely excited for you and Brandon! May God continue to bless your little family. Hugs!

  8. So glad 4 is doing so well! And that you are busy tending to 6 while anxiously awaiting news on Baby Girl. Have I mentioned I am not sleeping well waiting for news?!?!?! Since we are done adopting (God willing) I live vicariously through friends!

    And praise God for binkies!!!

  9. Im pretty sure I am in love with 4 the things he says are hilarious!