It's here

November is here.

How is Thanksgiving next week? It was August like 4 seconds ago. This month is full full full of foster craziness.

Court is here.

We had court for Baby 5 today. I was running late and rushed around like a maniac to get there 10 min. late, wait for an hour and a half, then go into the court room for 3min. This is an alarmingly detailed account of what happened:

Judge: This docket number blah blah blah concerning the welfare of the blah family.
(To Mom's Lawyer) Do you need time to talk to your client about blah blah blah or are you ready to address this now?
Mom's Lawyer: I would like an adjournment
Judge: Ok, so we'll come back on December 2nd

Frustration is here.

Then we left. No talk of THE CHILD because that would just be silly.

I'm pretty sure we could solve this state's budget issues by eliminating all of the unnecessary court hearings. I wish court appearances like this were unusual, but it has been our experience that they are all too common.

I tried to grab Baby 5's attorney (Guardian Ad Litem), but she buzzed out of the courtroom without even looking up at the crazy woman waving her down. She hasn't tried to contact me about meeting 5. I find it ridiculous that she can speak to the best interest of a child without ever seeing said child.

Relief is here.

No moves for Baby 5 at least until December 2nd and probably longer than that.

Changes are here.

Baby 4 had his first supervised visit with Relative Resource today. I was waiting in court, so Brandon transported to the visit. From what we can gather, 4 is handling it well. We saw regression in him in the past few weeks as we've prepared him for this. The visit today was right before Preschool, and I thought for sure he'd act up. He did OK, though.

I put together a picture book of Baby 4's stay with us to give to Relative Resource. It included pictures of every hospitalization and celebration we've gone through together. I wanted her to see how much love and support he has had. I wanted her to see how much he has really gone through and what change that has caused in him. I wanted her to have all those pictures just in case Baby 4 is ordered to live with her. Those pictures will be the most accurate description of these past 8 months as he grows and needs to remember.

Baby 4 painted a clay heart and made a playdough sculpture for her as well. He told her last week when she called that he had a present for her. He was so excited. She told him she was bringing him a present as well. She didn't.

Aggravation is here.

Really? It's not that he needs a gift, but this person wants to be his legal guardian and primary caregiver and the 1st thing she does to establish that connection is make empty promises?

Fear is here.

Court is tomorrow for Baby 4. They are deciding if he will go to live with Relative Resource out of state or stay in care with us.

I got the court report that was written by 4's caseworker and was sent to his parents, relative resource, the law guardian, and the judge. This report listed all the scary things that could happen if 4 gets taken out of our house right now. It spoke of how well he's doing and how fragile that progress is. DHS is not recommending his move, but the judge has ultimate say and our judge is known for leaning heavily in favor of maternal bio-figures.

So when he gets sent to her, I'll have official documentation of what I should be fearful of. Excellent.

Nausea is here.

Tomorrow I will be meeting relative resource and we will almost certainly have over an hour together while we wait for court. This is awkward and tricky. Acting experience is a great prerequisite for Foster care. Smiling through nervousness and listening to people who are saying ridiculous things without showing your emotions and opinions all over your face are tough skills.

Just the logistics of packing this kid up in a hurry is upsetting. The amount of stuff he has accumulated is almost comical. I don't know how they are going to get it down to where she lives.

I have felt like I just got off a spinning carnival ride since Monday morning. They don't make a pink liquid to ease foster care tummy troubles.


God is here.

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”     Deuteronomy 31:8

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

I have to believe. I have to stand firm on faith because if I thought my child's fate was in the hands of DHS and Family court, there would be no point in any of this.

It's here.

Either everything changes or everything stays the same. We'll see tomorrow.