Saturday, August 11, 2012

How was your visit?

Hey Bud! How was your visit?


Who was there?


Did you have fun?

The girl did this to me **sticks up middle finger**

What girl?

The girl at the visit

(I love 5 yrs olds)

Was she little like you or big like high school? (As in high school musical. Don't judge me)

No! She was a grown up!

Do you know her?

Yes. She's at the visit with her kid.

She's a Mommy? Why was she mean to you?

Because she's mad at Daddy. He's going to fight her and punch her face.

I'm sure Daddy is not going to fight with anyone. He was probably mad that she was being mean, but we would never punch someone even if we're mad, right?

He said that he was going to spit on her baby if she did this **sticks up middle finger** to me again.

That's not nice. I'm sorry you heard the grown ups being mean. They shouldn't have said those things. How about when you talk about it, you say "she stuck up her middle finger", instead of actually doing it. That way you're not giving mean signs like she did. 

That's bad

Yes, that's a bad sign because it hurts people's feelings. What did the caseworker say about the lady that was mean to you?

She didn't see it

(It's a supervised visit)

Where was she?

In the hall with her friends

So what happened after Daddy said mean things?

We played basketball and I winned, then Daddy winned. We take turns winning.

Ok, Well I'm glad you had fun.

So I had Baby 4 tell this story to the caseworker when she came over for her home visit. She told me later, when 4 wasn't around that Dad and this Mom had met at the visitation center and started a relationship that has apparently ended. I could write an entire post about the absurdity of that set up, but I'll spare you. She said that the caseworker who supervises the visits is now just monitoring them so she watches from a distance and peeks in a few times during the hour. I expressed my discontent with the visits being monitored instead of supervised when the judge has not made that change. The feeling I got was that this is a staffing issue and there is not a caseworker who can devote the full hour to be right with 4 in the visit. They ended up moving the visit of the woman involved and 4's visit stayed the same. I don't know that anyone addressed Dad's behavior at all.

This makes me mad to no end. Our kids come into care because the situations in their family of origin are dangerous. I, as a foster parent, am supposed to keep him safe. No matter how good I do, though, if CPS doesn't do anything to protect him for the one hour per week that they are in charge, then how can he remain safe? AH!

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