Restless

I'm not blogging a lot right now because Baby 6 plucked the O,G,and Y keys off my computer back in February. Brandon temporarily fixed them, but striking the key with any kind of speed made it fly off again. It is about the same cost to have my keyboard replaced as it is to buy a new laptop. While I'm working on it, it's super annoying to type without those keys.

I really wish I had the patience to blog, though, because I'm in new Foster Care territory right now. The court date for Mom's surrender is next week. Also next week is Baby Girl's surgery, and Brandon is going to Texas to meet his BioMom. They haven't seen each other in 20 years and have only recently reconnected on Facebook and by phone.

Yesterday Baby 4's Dad missed his visit and didn't call. He has not done this once in the year we've had 4. Baby 4 told me that he thought his Dad was in the hospital having surgery and that's why he missed the visit. Then today, 4 said he thinks his Dad is dead. I assured him that his Dad probably got very busy and forgot that it was visit day.

The statement, though, shows how serious this stuff is for our kids. How often they think about the condition of their family and how extreme their fantasies can be. It is KILLING ME not knowing what is happening in 4's case, how much so is it killing my son? To not have an answer when he asks me about forever? To have Dad and Relative Resource tell him he's going to live with them? To not understand what's so unsafe about his family that he can't even see their houses? To think that there is some sort of choice to be made, and they are choosing not to take him? That they are choosing to not come to visits?

The caseworker called me and said that she thinks bringing an attorney to court on Wednesday is not a good idea. She and her supervisor agreed that it will irritate the bios. I think they are afraid that my attorney will push to speed things up. Right now there is no plan to change the goal from "Return to Parent"- which is ridiculous. Remember ASFA and the 15 out of 22 consecutive months that we hear in training? It's crap. Kids can stay in care for years if someone doesn't stay right on top of CPS. Our attorney ended up calling me to let me know that he'll be unable to come to the next 2 court dates because he'll be out of town. I can't complain since we're not paying him for this, and now it looks to the county like I'm an obedient foster parent. But if he can make it to any court hearings, I'm certainly having the attorney come.

Baby 4 is getting restless as the uncertainty of his family and future lingers longer than I'd like. I'm getting restless as I search for new ways to tell him I don't know what's happening but he's still safe. Baby girl is getting restless because it has taken me so long to type this without those keys I'm missing.

I'll let you know how it all goes.