At 5pm yesterday, I picked up the twins. They were tiny and perfect. I brought them home to a huge welcoming party with everyone in anxious anticipation for their arrival. Yes, yesterday was a very good day.
This morning, the boys were napping -on their backs- on a blanket- on the living room floor. I was sitting right next to them and 6 feet away Baby Girl played with her nurse om the carpet. Baby 4 leaned over the babies and said, "He's got boogers". I went to wipe Baby 7's face and his head turned to the side and out of his nose poured foamy yellow discharge. I picked him up and realized he wasn't breathing. Baby Girl's nurse started CPR while I called the ambulance. The baby gained his angel wings before he got to the hospital.
SIDS is the leading cause of death among infants aged one month to one year.
African American Babies have a 2 times greater risk of SIDS.
When their Mother was notified, she was obviously distraught and wanted Baby 8 removed from our home. The caseworker felt this was the right choice for everyone involved. They picked up 8 this afternoon and placed him in another foster home. While we certainly understand the decision, it leaves us in a desolate place. We love these babies and are grieving. There is no closure for us. There is no service or bereavement group. Most of our friends hadn't even heard we got the babies, and now they are finding out about this. I feel like my heart break isn't valid because we had them such a short time, but valid or not- I'm devastated.
CPS and the Police department are conducting their investigations. Several people came in and out today- taking pictures and interviewing us. Autopsy results will ultimately close both investigations. Our agency assured us this will not affect Baby 4's placement or our certification. There will be a court date to discuss the "Fatality of a child in foster care", but we shouldn't have to go to that. The nurse that was here was told she could be subpoenaed to testify.
We are going to take some time to grieve and heal. Please pray for Baby 7's family.
Oh what a tragedy! I'm so sorry. I will be praying for you all and baby 7's family.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. How shocking and heart breaking! Praying for all of you.
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ReplyDeleteDear Teresa,
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry for you, your family and baby 7's family. When our first placement was 3 months old, I brought her with me to get coffee with a group of moms and someone accidentally spilled scalding water on her. She was hospitalized and eventually healed, so I know the pain isn't the same, but I feel like I have an idea of the anguish that you must be in. I felt responsible and ashamed and afraid and sad AND like I had no right to feel those things because she wasn't "mine". Looking back I can see all the pieces of God's plan for that day and how he has used it for good, but those first couple days I was drowning in sorrow. I pray that you are braced up by strong friends and family until this storm has passed. I pray for quick resolution for the investigation so that you can all fully heal. I pray that someday God will reveal to you why He called baby 7 home while he was in your tender care. May God bless you.
Oh, Teresa, my heart is so sad for you. What heartbreak. My thoughts will be with you for a long time to come. I do hope you and Brandon are kind to yourselves as you process this and heal.
ReplyDeleteI will join everyone above in prayer for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreak - there are no words. Praying for you and that baby's family.
ReplyDeleteYour heartbreak is completely valid. It does not matter how long you had him or that he wasn't "yours"- loss of life is always a tragedy. I am so sorry for what you are going through and will be praying for you and for the baby's family. This is
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I am so so sorry for your loss. Your family and baby 7's family are in my prayers. :'(
ReplyDeleteOh my! Praying for baby 7's family. Praying for you and your family as you grief this loss which so many can't understand. He was yours. Maybe you can hold your own little goodbye service with your family to honor him. So very sorry.
ReplyDeleteThis is the worst thing I have ever heard. Your heartbreak is valid. So valid. You have my permission to grieve (if that counts for anything).
ReplyDeleteSending prayers and hugs for all involved.
ReplyDeleteTeresa - This is such a tragedy. I am so sorry. There are no words to make it better for anyone but you do have the right to grieve and feel your feelings. My heart feels them for you too and I've never met you or the twins. May you find peace.
ReplyDeleteOh Teresa I am so so SO sorry for this loss. What a terribly hard thing to go through. Grieve anyway that you need to find your own closure. Do a little ceremony with you and your husband. Sending you lots of love and prayer.
ReplyDeleteDear Teresa,
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to learn your news and now so heartbroken for you, your family, Baby 7 and the twin's mother. The situation was absolutely beyond your control and this will be confirmed in the investigation. Your entry today has brought tears to my eyes and I am SO SORRY to hear of your loss. Stay strong - you are an inspiration for so many in all that you continue to go through for the good of all these foster children needing love and care. God Bless you and your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love, Dawn
I am so very very sorry. I will be praying for you and all involved as you grieve the loss of this precious soul. I will also be praying for your protection as you go thru the various investigations. I have been in a similar situation. I know how very hard it is. May you find some peace as you are held in the hands of the Lord.
ReplyDeleteGod be with you,
susan