Monday, December 19, 2011

Hodgepodge Post

I've been a neglectful blogger. Lots of foster stuff has been happening, and I feel like it's all I can do to come along for the ride. There's no way I'm going to produce something eloquently written or pleasant to read, so I thought I'd just mash up a bunch of updates in one messy post and let you sift through at your own risk.

  • We had court for baby 5 last week and there were no changes made to his situation. This means he will definitely be with us for Christmas through January 26th- when we go back to court.

  • In court, the county recommended that his parents do a program with him that is supposed to support bonding and attachment. Since his primary bond is with us right now and the plan is still to move him very soon, this program would have benefited him greatly. After some banter between lawyers, the judge asked the baby's attorney what she thought and she said she was OK with the parent not taking the program. I was furious, but it got worse from there

  • After court I flagged the attorney for the child down and asked her for an appt where she could meet Baby 5- her client. Her response? "Oh, I don't think I can do that." What?! You are supposed to see the child you are representing. She went on to tell me that she has already met him and has notes from that meeting. No. See, he's an infant who never leaves my side- so it would be impossible for me to miss a meeting between him and his lawyer. I double checked with the caseworker just to make sure no meetings occurred at visits. The law guardian has never seen this baby. she has no idea what his temperament or special needs are- she has no idea ho visits are going and she fabricates meeting notes. Next month she'll go to court and advocate for what she believes is his best interest without knowing anything about him. I literally had to write down my contact info for her and walk away before I turned ugly. We'll see if she calls me.

  • Baby 4 has started some out of control behavior in the past week or so. He got hit in the eye by a boy at school because 4 threw a book at him. Then he was completely rude and uncooperative at a Christmas activity with his therapist. The next day I caught him trowing a teddy bear at Baby 5's head. Whether its all the talk of Christmas, his upcoming surgery, or baby's return home- he's spinning downward and I'm losing patience.

  • Good Moms probably don't make faces behind the back of their preschoolers. Noted.

  • I probably need to take respite, but there is so much at stake. Whatever good behavior 4 is showing now could regress if I place him in respite. I would have to move 3 machines and 5 medications to a respite home and make sure they are comfortable with his medical needs and then turn around and bring all of that back home and get it set up again- which is exhausting to even think about. Baby 4 has lived in five different homes in his 4 yrs of life. Moving and having different caregivers is normal to him- a "normal" that I am trying to break. I want him to feel secure in his place here, and respite seems to negate that.

  • Baby 4's birthday is next month and I'm getting excited about his party!!! Naughty or not- he deserves to celebrate big after all he's been through this past year. He was injured only 7days after his 4th birthday and then placed with me after leaving the hospital. Making it to 5yrs old took a strength I could never even hope to have myself.

  • After an issue that I don't even want to think about long enough to type it, I was told by my homefinder that I work so well with Bio parents and appear so confident, that my kids caseworkers often leave the brunt of problem solving on me when they would step in with other foster parents. Read: we punish you for being good.

  • Secret: I do not like extending myself to bios. It's inconvenient and threatening to my fragile ego. I do it because I'm convinced this is best for my kids and I would walk on hot coal for my kids if it was best for them. It's also what Jesus would do.

  • My Mom took Baby 4 to a live Nativity where he loudly announced that Dominic the Donkey brought Mary and Jesus to Bethlehem. Score 1 for proper religious training.

  • My 1st group of Fosterlings graduated from MAPP last week. We only had 3 select out over the 10 weeks. I loved training MAPP and can't wait to do it again in March.

I'm sure my will to write will come back soon and then you won't have to sort through bullet points to figure out what Foster Care looks like on Christmas week. Talk soon!


    1. ahhhhhhhhh...foster care...........

    2. I'm just happy for the update, I was wondering what happened in court:) Hang in there, next week will be better!