Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Big Load

This morning, waiting for the school bus:

Baby 4: I wish Baby 10 was here. Do you wish Baby 10 was here?

Me: Well, I miss her, but I'm happy for her that's she's back with her family.

Baby 4: I wish she didn't go back so we didn't have to say 'Goodbye'. I've had to say goodby to a lot of people

Then he listed all the people he doesn't live with anymore

It was a lengthy list

My heart broke for this tiny baby who carries a big load everyday. Usually he does it so well that I forget, but right then he was weary. The story that gave him a family also took so much away. Today it was more lonely than lovely. It's a normal Mama response to try to be the fixer, but all I could really do was hug him while he felt all his feelings.

Then he picked up his big load and went to school.


  1. Ohh, I know, even though my kiddos have shorter lists. Today I had to try to convince my younger bio son that his older brother (also my bio son) is not moving away. These babies. :(

  2. You are such a blessing for these babies!

  3. The brokenness of foster care is hard to handle as an adult. I am amazed by these little ones that continue to function in spite of their heavy burdens. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Hi Teresa,

    This may be your first comment on your entire blog! I started reading your blog chronologically about a month ago. Since then, we took our first foster placement (I type this after finishing newborn's 1 am bottle). I have LOVED reading your story. Your passion for your kiddos (the whole child, including/especially bio family) has caused a big change in my thinking about how best to love this little guy.
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful family!
    Julie in CA (mom to four bios and our first, Baby 1)

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