tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post9084040377293099626..comments2023-11-02T08:30:35.925-04:00Comments on Foster Care: Our Love story: The Name GameTeresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03468784692000665835noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-76383807124307984662012-08-31T08:40:54.381-04:002012-08-31T08:40:54.381-04:00The caseworker didn't seem to have a strong op...The caseworker didn't seem to have a strong opinion one way or the other, she literally couldn't grasp why I would even be asking about it. I think since the nickname is what he was known by before coming into care, and it's what his parents still call him, the county shouldn't put up too much of a stink- but you never know.I think I'll work it out with the teacher and not bring it up to the caseworker anymore.Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03468784692000665835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-61730543481265804322012-08-30T23:50:10.241-04:002012-08-30T23:50:10.241-04:00I see where you posted that the caseworker doesn&#...I see where you posted that the caseworker doesn't get why it's a big deal... Is it going to cause problems for you if you continue to push it with the teacher anyway? I know some families in our area have gotten into trouble for giving kids nicknames for very similar reasons. It's just unfortunate that these kids have to deal with name issues on top of everything else in their lives.<br /><br />Anyway, if it's not going to get you in trouble I would just be very insistent on writing "Mikey" on everything and having him continue to learn that. The teacher will catch on eventually; it sounds like she was willing to work with you after getting a better grasp on the full situation. We have friends whose kindergartner only goes by his middle name, and the teacher adapted to that. Why wouldn't this be the same?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-24892876253973209352012-08-30T11:13:55.968-04:002012-08-30T11:13:55.968-04:00I had a hard enough time just signing him into kid...I had a hard enough time just signing him into kids church one day, I can only imagine the aggravation! As with all things, sounds like you handled with things ease, eloquence and compassion for all parties.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11444796200699787681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-12191709203818653322012-08-28T14:56:59.724-04:002012-08-28T14:56:59.724-04:00I think you handled it perfectly, and I would defi...I think you handled it perfectly, and I would definitely put the middle name as what the bio dad wanted. In middle school we had to do a project on what our name meant and why our parents picked it. What a story to be able to say my first name's spelling was fixed by my adoptive parents, and my middle name was picked by my bio dad. You are doing what is best, and I certainly hope the teacher listens to you and uses Mikey instead of the misspelled first name. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07267965587047367494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-20881476372130470252012-08-28T14:15:40.079-04:002012-08-28T14:15:40.079-04:00We have a little bit of a name situation ourselves...We have a little bit of a name situation ourselves with identical twins that have almost the exact same name. Thankfully everyone so far goes along with (and is thankful for) our modifications because no one could keep it straight! I think you did a great job-and especially with the added pressure of having bd there!Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00298650286413595922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-56245429594946100112012-08-28T10:26:11.732-04:002012-08-28T10:26:11.732-04:00Honestly, I am not sure how the teacher calling hi...Honestly, I am not sure how the teacher calling him by his first name and not his nickname will give him any more confidence in himself. It's the name he is familiar with - it IS his identity. My son goes by his middle name and if, when he starts school, they started calling him by his first name - I can only imagine the confusion it would cause. And really, if a kid can learn to write "Mikey" - and other new words - I think he will be able to handle "Michael" in the future. <br /><br />It must have been so awkward with the dad there - I could not imagine it! You did an awesome job in the situation!Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17715058968871192568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-91390788334922448372012-08-28T09:35:32.224-04:002012-08-28T09:35:32.224-04:00Oh man, what a headache! And what a fun extra leve...Oh man, what a headache! And what a fun extra level of complication to have his bio-dad right there, to make it extra strained. I think it was great to start the conversation with his dad about his name "after he gets out of foster care", and I really hope his teacher is okay with him staying "Mikey" for now. Good luck!Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17087847312958608930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9121594890308061231.post-54488576505660763952012-08-28T08:30:10.311-04:002012-08-28T08:30:10.311-04:00I ran into a similar (in concept anyway) situation...I ran into a similar (in concept anyway) situation at preK yesterday. Granted - we are nowhere near being able to adopt our little one. TPR has never been mentioned.<br /><br />But, she has lived with us for over a year now and she NEVER goes by her given name. It's a unique name. Not a cultural name. Not a family name. It is literally like a word someone made up. No one - and I mean no one - knows how to pronounce it.<br /><br />Soooooooo....the preK teacher botches the name totally. I smile and tell her the correct pronunciation. Then I tell her the nickname that she goes by. The name that every single family member (bio and foster) calls her.<br /><br />The teacher pretty much did the same thing to me and told me that she will need to learn her given name. In fact, the teacher all but put me down verbally for writing the nickname on my girl's backpack.<br /><br />My hands are tied. There's nothing I can do. And since I doubt this case is ever going to go to TPR, I'm not going to worry about it. But it did make me sad. In the deep dark recesses of my mind, I had already decided that we would change her legal first name to something different. Saddling a child with a strange name that no one can pronounce hardly seems fair. But if she begins to identify with her given name, changing it would hardly seem fair either.<br /><br />I would hope and pray that the school can work with you to let your little boy be "Mikey". Children are perfectly capable of learning how to spell both a nickname and a given name. They don't have to master that skill immediately in kindergarten!!Cherub Mammahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07220602185537450139noreply@blogger.com